It began with a direct message on LinkedIn. 

‘I’m interested in more information about your project…’

As a founder on the fundraising trail, I’m interested in anyone interested in more information about my project. Give me a call and I’ll happily spend 20 minutes chewing your ear off.

So I responded, politely. And then we did talk. He was calling from abroad, constantly travelling, making deals, busy man etc. But he seemed genuinely interested in the business and keen to help. And said he had access to investment.

I sent him the YumTuc pitch deck and the dance continued for a few days. Then I got another call. Saying he’d spoken to an associate who wanted to meet me in person somewhere in Europe, probably Spain. Sure, I replied. It’s nice at this time of year and I love paella as much as the next person.* 

So I waited a few days and then had a call from the associate. Another polite conversation. I explained the business proposition and how it all works. He listened and seemed genuinely interested in the business and keen to help.

Barcelona was suggested as the meeting place. I got my sunhat and sandals ready. 

A few more days. Another conversation. And then it got weird.

‘Let’s talk about this loan and the interest rates.’

‘Thanks but I’m not looking for a loan† but equity investment.’ Haven’t these guys watched Dragons’ Den?

And then it got weirder.

‘So here’s what we’ll do. We’ll get a lawyer to meet you in London and you bring a briefcase with £50,000 cash in it.’

‘Pardon?’

‘Or one gold bar.’

‘Er.’

‘Or a luxury watch. Then we’ll wire the funds to you within 72 hours.’

At this point, I felt like I’d got a crossed line** and had joined an entirely different conversation. Loans, briefcases, gold bars, watches. Wasn’t this how the Brink’s-Mat robbery started?

Needless to say, at this point, I made my excuses and left the call. The paella will have to wait. And the people of Barcelona are spared the sight of me in sunhat and sandals – a silver lining of sorts.

I can’t be the first person to have this kind of experience with an ‘interested’ party. And maybe it’s tame in comparison with others? I’d love to hear any stories.

But among the many things it made me wonder was this: if I had a briefcase containing £50,000 in cash, surely I wouldn’t need to be fundraising in the first place. Nor would I be able to from prison.

Join YumTuc here: https://bit.ly/yumtuc.

PS. If you are a potentially interested investor whose strategy doesn’t involve unmarked notes, gold bars or watches, please do drop me a line!

* Plus I could post it on YumTuc. Always thinking about the brand. Or my stomach. Or both.
† Though I keep on getting offers. Which is nice, but like needing a pair of trousers and being offered a shirt.
** For anyone under 30, a thing that actually happened in life before mobiles.